Month: October 2018

Hurt people, hurt people

Laying in bed at 4am in the morning, one hour passed the so called “ witching hour” and it was as if my thoughts had become real and were bouncing off the walls. Okay, what am I talking about? So what kept me up? One thing came to mind.  WHY do people hurt each other?  Not physically but emotionally?  What’s there to gain from all of this?  What is the point? 

Anyway, let me continue with what I want to share with you today.

Lately, I have found myself watching a lot of emotional shows, series, movies and believe me or not, I have actually read a book for once.  Lol.  The book was about how people feel but never really say out loud!  It is made up from mostly pain or hurt or wish the person never left.  Wait, let’s be honest, it never ends good and it’s not a pretty sight.

Let me explain.

Example number 1:  Someone in your life never really acknowleges you and at the same time, they can go days without talking to you.  Sometimes a simple message is enough to keep you holding on to whatever you think you might still have!  Some people just don’t make time for you but yet they still convince you otherwise.  Or maybe a random message to show you they still care.  But when the day comes where you have a face to face conversation and the right words keep you holding on to “something” yet the days go by and nothing comes from it. Nothing happens. Time goes by and feelings die to the point where you wonder, “do I even matter???”

Example number 2 : you have friends; the kind you think will have your back through it all but seems to always find a way to selfishly benefit from whatever they feel this friendship is based on.  You don’t notice it until just one day they take off their masks and show you their true colors! Bare in mind you have never been different, you always stick to what you know, which is you being the same person day in and day out.   What sucks is you not knowing what has been going on behind your back, feeling used and abused but never speak up.  What do we do?  We allow it to happen because if you say something you will end up having no friends. 

Example number 3 : falling in love to quickly (also, there is no rule in life that says there is a timeline to this).  What are all the of the signs that make up all of this?  Drive, love, acknowledgement, passion, friendship, physical and mental needs!  It was all there yet you kept me where you wanted me to be.  Never pushing boundaries or going over your limit!  Always keeping me “in check” and never allowing me to get out of hand because that’s too embarrassing.  What if I just want to be me?  What then?  

Example number 4 : Body Image.  Oh my gosh where do I start with this one?  Let’s look at a few of those day-to-day kind of comments. Like those comments that shouldn’t be heard or should never been said in the first place.  I mean, yes I am guilty of this from time to time.  Let’s look at the following;  Some gym junkies (not all of them) throw random comments at you like: “Oh when are you going to the gym, you never take pictures at the gym, do you really go?” OR always comment like “oh you went, I am so proud of you!”  You start asking yourself, “Does my curves with a little fat not look good enough?” Or “Do I need to squat more cause I am losing the shape of my ass?”  My ass is always gonna be there asshole!  It may not be defined or shaped how you think it should be but it’s never gonna go away asshole! Agggg, it  just works on my nerves!

Okay so I may have gone a bit to far with this post but these are my thoughts in writing.  Yes, I am being as open as possible.  But how people hurt other people cause that is all they know, makes me feel sad and empty.  They don’t really know what love is and when it comes their way, they push it away because it’s not a natural thing or a familiar thing for them. They just don’t want it. Others hold onto it but it never lasts because eventually they just don’t know how to handle it.  They hurt others without realizing it or use the hurt caused by someone else and using it to hurt others in this world.   

We all have a choice in this, let’s love and not hurt!!!